I Won The Snake Draft FAIR AND SQUARE

White Sox Dave 7/23/2021 2:30 PM

It has recently come to my attention that people think I juiced the most recent Snake Draft polls:

As far as I'm concerned, I won the snake draft running away. My draft selections of pandering politicians, reply all emailers, smoking weed as a lifestyle, people who bring smelly food to the office and virtue signalers are a 5 punch combo of insufferable assholes that would make Micky Ward blush:

Ward v Gatti I is still my favorite fight of all time

In a way I'm proud of you guys. I'm proud of you guys for coming to your senses, thinking freely with an open mind, and voting for the best draft. It only took 26 weeks, but it's better late than never, as they say. You're no longer lemmings, at least for this week you're not.

Hypothetically speaking, however… perhaps you're not convinced. Perhaps you think the poll was juiced and my victory should have an asterisk next to it at worst, or my victory should be rescinded while I get drawn and quartered at best. If that's your stance, I say, "prove it". Prove that I or someone else juiced the polls. Prove that on Tuesday, July 21st I David Williams (or a 3rd party) somehow, someway figured out a method to accrue as many votes as possible at the last second possible in order to ensure my first snake draft victory in 26 drafts.

This is America and not feudal Europe or Cambodia, correct? Did we start abiding by the Napoleonic Code without me realizing it? Is the burden of proof not on the accuser anymore? Because I've always been under the assumption that we operate under the Latin maxim, "Onus Probandi":

So if you're not going to prove their was foul play involved in the voting process, then shut the fuck up. Quit your bitching. I won this draft FAIR AND SQUARE and I will go to the goddamn Supreme Court of the United States of America if need be to prove my innocence. I have a lawyer on retainer. His name is William Williams.

Listen to this week's snake draft and you will know that this victory was earned with integrity and gumption. The Airing of Grievances Snake Draft is LIVE!!!!